There came a time when a series of people had left my life. And I began to adapt to it. Leave before you are left. That is the lesson I learned. People will always leave. And more often than not they will take a part of your self-esteem with them when they go.
Along came an innocent boy who handed me his heart. Unfortunately by this point I was one heartbreak away from being a complete isolationist. During our relationship I experienced the heartbreak that caused me to break. The one person who has stayed through everything, left with a letter with words painful enough to make one want to die. I internalized her words and believed them. I did not want to get close to anyone after that. I did not like who I had become. I did not want to be in the position to hurt anyone else.
The only thing that stood between me and being free from influencing anyone's life, was one boy. The boy who had handed me his heart. One more casualty and then I would not have to deal with pain again. I would live to be a loner. I would not hurt another person. And no other person would get the chance to hurt me.
So for months I tried to break it off with the one boy who cared. One day, I ripped it off like a band-aid. I simply turned to him and said goodbye. I biked off and didn't speak to him again. No explanation. No second chance. Nothing.
I was wrong. We say goodbye with no explaination when we are the ones with cowardice. When we are the ones letting our pain and fear control us.
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