If there is one thing I have learned in my life, is the wildest, most fun, die hards. Are the saddest and loneliest people out there. They have absolutely nothing to lose, because they feel that they have nothing in the first place. Whether or not its true, that is the perception they have.
Why do I say this, well, I used to be the life of the party. A true wild one. I lived both more than I have ever lived before and since, and at the same time so much less than I do now. When I was the wild one, I didn’t allow myself to live and learn, because I wouldn’t allow my emotions to catch up to me. I wouldn’t allow myself the time to process what I was going through or feeling. I just kept moving forward, refusing to pause or look back. I was not purposely trying to hide from myself, I just wanted to be happy. I wanted to feel loved. I wanted to feel alive.
This song is perfection. It shows how sad the party girls are. How in order to cope with their past, they must keep running from it.
The biggest problem is that at the end of the day, no one knows who you are. No one knows what drives you, what you think, what your family is like, ect. They just know that you are “fun”. But when you stop being fun, you are alone. Utterly forgotten.
After leaving that life behind, I started showing my cards. Started being more open about who I am, almost everyone left. But it got better, because now the people who are my friends, actually like me for who I am.
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